A Soul to Soul Encounter

by - March 11, 2020

At first I looked down and saw just your name, there is something familiar there I thought.
When we met there was this peace that washed over me,
This space of home, contentment and safety.

After our encounter the departing hug left our souls longing for more.
My body was lit up with joy and warmth like nothing I’d experienced before.

The next encounter I remember your finger brushing the top of my toe as we
chatted face to face.
There’s that feeling again I thought…it’s so warm, cozy and familiar.

Space with you was expansive, like a cozy weightless cloud floating in the sky.
We ventured into snuggles, some conversation and a warm silence that was welcoming.

It felt like the Universe took every worry and care,
The clock had to have stopped, we lost track of time. 
We were locked into the memory of home, so sublime.
Something was safe and serene, we didn’t want to part.

I allowed myself to expand into this space like never before.
As I opened up, you kept shutting the door to your heart,
And I kept opening up more and more.
Holding space and waiting only for you to meet me there.

The first time your cock entered me, my body trembled for it knew the memory of you as well.
The energy behind the thrust was familiar,
And in this moment I was raw and receptive of everything you be.

I expanded into a space in my heart that had never been opened before.
Yet after, I knew you hadn’t met me there. 
Your heart was hurt, afraid of being left behind and becoming simply a memory. 
I knew you had been there in the capacity you could be. 
I felt your soul trembling, could you feel mine?
Your soul shared it’s desires with me energetically, your body was enveloped in joy.
Something was keeping you from allowing your soul to have the connection it desired.

Our encounters became that of many endless chats of universal phenomenons and laughter.
There were emotional triggers for us both which opened up so much healing.
Both of our inner childs were calling out for acceptance and love.

Perhaps our souls had this planned all along as they clearly disliked us physically parting ways,
I knew we had found each other to create so much more if you’d just open the door.

Then one day I felt as if there was a wall instead of a door.
Still functioning from my wounding, I kept trying to open the part of your heart to meet mine.

Your body continually asking me to step in and assist with these walls, 
I became exhausted and let you be.
Then one day I received a message that clearly came straight from your heart,
It was vulnerable real and carried the energy of you calling out to me. 

When I saw you after those weeks that passed, there was joy in your eyes.
Our bodies entwined, quivering with passion and knowing they were home again.
Sadly that moment was short lived and before I knew it the wall was back up around your heart.

I tried yet again, I couldn’t help myself because of how it felt with you. 
Then one day I realized this familiar feeling was partly from my past.

The little girl within me said, “Why are you trying so hard and chasing him?”
I said, “This is what I know. If I keep going and keep giving he will open up eventually, right?”
I felt her heart within mine, this overwhelming sadness, yet so familiar.
She knew this was a pattern and she was showing me so.
She said, “You’re doing this for me because this is what I had to do with Daddy.
I wanted Daddy to love me for everything I was and he would never let me in.
He kept pushing me away no matter what I did to try to make him happy. 
You’ve shown me in our healing that he was doing this from his own pain.
I know through our inner work this was never my fault but am thinking you must have forgotten.
Do you see how you continually give more and more of you on all levels, thinking you have to prove
your value? You can see the walls have not budged and feel how much it’s hurting you inside.”
I knew she was right. I knew I was looking for something that wasn’t available regardless of how
much I wanted it to be. 

I thought to myself, you long for him to enter you again and again, yet when he does he is unable
to truly meet you in that space in your heart.
The space where all possibilities exist and there is nothing but your combined magic potent presence.
He isn’t willing to let himself experience that so why keep giving it to him when it’s hurting you?

I knew in that moment it was time to let go. 
I had to speak my heartfelt truth and set boundaries for myself.
I was depleted, exhausted and torn from all the striving and longing for something I knew wasn’t available. 

I went back and forth for several days, knowing this was requiring me to work through old patterns

of self neglect in search of love being returned.
Those old paradigms where I thought I had to accept less to receive love.

The space you held for who I be was amazing and kind, you honored all of my shadows with gratitude
however it was hurting the deepest part of my heart that beyond that, you were hiding from me. 

My soul desires a sacred connection that aligns with my divinity.
I know the potency of that space from a life before this one. I feel it in all the deepest parts of me. 

Speaking my truth transcended through timelines of neglecting my truth. 
The little girl within had reminded me of my worth.
I knew I had to share every bit of truth from my heart without apology and I allowed myself to. 
You received it graciously and I was grateful yet again for the space you held.

I didn’t realize until the days following how much grief was buried.
I knew anger was pointless and yet some of it creeped it's way in.
I was aware that our connection was born of the desire of our souls. 
So much was learned, so much pain uncovered and released.

Still weeks later I’m mourning the loss of what I didn’t want to see. 
I gave it my all, I had to for I knew it was a once in a lifetime connection and regret wasn’t an
option for me. 

I felt as though you couldn’t see the deepest part of my soul even though it was there all along. 
Perhaps you could but didn’t want to allow yourself to. 

I know the healing will go on and I know I must completely let go.
The cognitive part of me knows it’s time but my body and soul are asking for one more time.
So in this space, I am allowing the sadness. 
And transmuting it into something magical for my future even if it doesn’t include you.

I’ll transcend this over time yet I’d be lying if I said a part of me isn’t still wishing for you to
meet me here and beyond. 

My body will probably forever long for your embrace.
So onto the next adventure I’ll go.
Taking with me the lessons and knowing that feeling at home doesn’t ever mean we necessarily truly are.

I’m sure we will cross paths in another time and space.
I wish you love and joy and invite you to allow your soul to have it’s deepest wish as I will be
allowing mine to.

Much love,
Andrea Lynn

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  1. ❤️❤️❤️It’s extremely hard to process that space sometimes. Im glad you found it, because as you said it will clear it for something spectacular. (Hugs)

  2. Yes. I love you and appreciate your listening ear. ��


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