Feeling is not wrong! ~A message from my little me to your little you.~

by - February 28, 2020

I don't think I actually ever understood what it means to feel your emotions until recently. I can see where over the years I felt things but at the same time didn't feel them.  It sounds funny to read doesn't it?  

I say this because as of recently as you may or may not have noticed, this Mercury retrograde is pushing us to look at the things we pushed aside in the past. Whether it's our ways of functioning, where we aren't showing up or simply the emotions we didn't allow ourselves to process. 

My ways of functioning with emotions were unhealthy for so long. I have really had to go within and do lots of connecting with my inner child over the past few years and giving her and myself permission to feel how we feel. Even reminding myself that it's ok for others to see me cry. That little girl inside me had fear around that for so long because she was reprimanded for expressing her emotions.

When I was a child, my father could never handle me crying so he would project anger. I would end up in the attic alone crying quietly sometimes so that I didn't get in trouble. I used to hear things like, "I'll give you something to cry about" or "Stop crying, I don't want to hear it".  I have come far enough in my healing journey to understand he was functioning from what he was taught.  I know this, however the little girl inside me often needs reminded that she can cry as much as she requires to and it won't get her into trouble. I have taught myself how to hold space for her. I won't go into all the stuff around that from my father because I've moved past it and I know it was unconscious behavior on his part. The point in me writing about this is to share that from my awareness so much of our path is about learning to re-parent ourselves. It's vital to let our little selves know that they can feel how they need to and the same with our adult selves.

Emotions are not wrong. The key for me has been in learning how to allow them without judgment and once we tap into our inner child there is a part of us deep within our heart that knows this and that knows we have known it all along. It's undoing the conditioning and patterns we learn that gets us there. 

What stifles the processing of the emotion is when we go into judgment of the emotion or push it away and not want to feel it.  So in my experience what it truly means to feel is to be with the emotion, hold space for it (allowance), surround it with love, honor it and ask what it's there to teach you. Some questions I like are, "Does it simply require to be felt?"  "What patterns am I operating from that I can choose to let go of?"  "What is this emotion guiding me to?" "Could I choose an emotion to assist here?"

What I have learned is that when I own, accept and FEEL my emotions it's the simplest way to process them and let them go. Understanding that I am not the emotion, the emotion itself is simply an experience and that I am having.   When I stay out of judgment and just FEEL without attachment I am able to process and release them. Then naturally what happens is as I feel each one I am able to choose the next one I want to feel. It's pretty much been a retraining of myself, but it only works if I allow myself to totally be with it. 

There is truly an art to this "feeling and processing emotions thing" and it's beautiful and chaotic. I mean isn't this the journey we signed up for? Just ride the waves, the ebb and flow, just BE....and TRUST.  You're not alone. EVER.

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  1. Very well written and the reflection on emotions how to acknowledge your inner feelings to ultimately arrive at your place of acceptance. Thank you, always refreshing to hear from you...


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